Mummers Play

(Enter Johnny Jack)

Johnny Jack:

In comes I Little Johnny Jack,
With my family climbing on my back.
The burden’s not light though they be small,
I can scarce find bread to feed them all.
So for a fare we will dance and sing,
Some money in purse is a capital thing.
Ladies and gentlemen give what you please,
And all of that we’ll welcomely receive.

(Enter Old Father Time)

Old Father Time:

In comes I, Old Father Time,
welcome perhaps or welcome not,
Sometimes cold and sometimes hot,
I hope I’ll never be forgot.
Though I've come far, I've but short time to stay,
We'll show you sport and pastime before we go away.
Room, room Ladies & Gentlemen, room I pray,
I am the man that leads the Noble King this way.

(Enter Noble King)

Noble King:

In comes I, the Noble King,
just lately come from foreign lands,
With my sword there and jolly men
I made the Churlish Knight to dance.
And if I had him close by here,
I wonder what would soon appear?
I'd cut him up as small as dust,
and send him to baker to make a pie crust!

(Enter Churlish Knight)

Churlish Knight:

In comes I, that Churlish Knight,
Just come from the distant land to fight;
I'll battle this King and all his crew
Aye, country-folk and warriors too.
I'll cross this King with courage bold,
His blood runs hot, but I'll make it cold.

Noble King:

Down under thee I'll never bow nor bend,
No good man ever mistook thee to be a friend.

Churlish Knight:

For why, for why, sir, did I ever do you any harm?

Noble King:

You saucy man, wherever you go they sound alarm.

Churlish Knight:

So stab for stab, I have no fear,
appoint me the place, and I'll meet you there.

Noble King:

That place is here, this patch of ground,
Where I mean to lay your fair body down!

Churlish Knight:

Thus said pull out your sword and fight!
Or pull out your purse and pay,
For one satisfaction I will have,
Before I go away.

Noble King:

No money will I pull out nor pay,
But you and I will fight until one’s done away.
Stand off, stand off, you Churlish Knight,
or by my sword you shall soon die,
I'll cut off your driblets through and through,
I'll make your buttons fly.

(A fight ensues until the Noble King falls.)

Churlish Knight:

Behold, behold, what I have done.
I cut him down like the evening sun;
And ten more of such men I'll fight,
For that I shall claim what is my right.

(Johnny Jack rushes to the fallen King and lifts his limp body slightly.)

Johnny Jack:

Indeed, indeed, the King is slain,
Between these two arms his body's lain,
For what some Doctor must come and see,
Where this man lies bleeding at his feet.

Old Father Time:

Oh, is there a doctor to be found
nearby to here this Christmas night?
Come heal this good man’s bloody wound
and make him stand up right.

(Enter the Doctor)

Doctor:

In comes I, Doctor Too Good,
With just my hand I can stop the blood.
I can stop the blood and heal the wound,
And raise this dead man from the ground.

Old Father Time:

What can you cure, Doctor?

Doctor:

I can cure the itch, the pox, the palsy or gout,
Pain within or strain without,
I have plaster and potions, poisons and pills,
Some to cure and others to kill.
If his neck be broke, I'll set it right,
Or else won't accept my fee this night.

Johnny Jack:

O Doctor, Doctor what is thy fee this champion for to rise
The sight of him doth trouble me to see how dead he lies.

Doctor:

Full fifty guineas is my fee and money to have down
But since ‘tis for his majesty I will do it for ten pound.

Old Father Time:

Better try your skill then, Doctor.

Doctor:

Now, you see, ladies and gentlemen,
I've got a bottle in my pocket filled with drops golden,
I puts a drop on his temple and a drop in his mouth,
I puts a drop on his heart, and he'll move about.

(The Noble King stirs, the Churlish Knight slinks away off stage)

Old Father Time:

So he did, Doctor. So he did!

Doctor:

You see ladies and gentlemen, I told no lies.
But I can raise the dead before your eyes,
And so you all shall see. Rise up good King,
And see how boldly you once more can walk and sing.

(The Noble King rises)

Noble King:

Good morning to you, maids and gentlemen,
Good sleep I have had, and now I am awakened
With this Good Doctor here I rise to fight another day,
I pray Good Doctor, take here this purse your bill to pay.

(The Noble King pulls out his purse and gives it to the Doctor. The Doctor smiles and counts the coin, Johnny Jack begs a share from him.)

All:

Our tale is done, and we must be gone;
We can tarry no longer here.
So God bless you all, both great and small,
And send you a happy New Year.